Soul on Fire #23

Nov 25, 2019

Greetings

Welcome this issue of Soul on Fire

Thanks for subscribing to my e zine. It means a lot to me to have a platform to share my thoughts and creations.
this last week has been a week. It’s shown me a few really golden lessons. One of the things I got present to was around shame.
I was door knocking in the greater Wellington region and was walking back to my bike after being told no one here is interested in my books.
I felt that I was being watched as I trudged back and felt this acute discomfort around holding the book, like it was my reason for feeling irrelevant and unwanted by those rednecks.
I asked myself why do I feel ashamed of what I’m doing? Was I not presenting the book that has revolutionised countless lives and could do the same for their sorry lives too had they possessed a bit of open mindedness?
Why do I always get this feeling like I’m a contaminated presence and that I’m not wanted?
It’s not so important what the reason is. I could analyse my naval for another 30 years and then die having not figured it out. I’m done with overthinking my made up problems. I make up a problem and then make a new one by not being able to understand it. It’s like scribbling on paper and then trying to trace the line and make sense of it.

The outcome of the inner dialogue I had that day was that I’m not bad or bothersome. I just felt uncomfortable and fearful and resentful and insecure. All these defects are surely not pleasing to God. What would be pleasing to God? I think being comfortable in the skin He gave me, fearless and bold, grateful and confident.
So being a man of faith on the magical path of Bhakti yoga, I requested that Supreme Person to guide my thinking and my life that I may be a useful instrument in His lotus hands.

When I got to the camping site at Battle Hill, I met Rama and we sat down for dinner. He made some steamed green veges and we added peanuts to it. The ranger came by and asked if our meal was plant based. We talked about the meal briefly and then I showed him the book (Hiding in Unnatural HappinessI had previously shown to the blessed bogans. He said Krishna as he read the back. We spoke about the unnatural happiness so many of us hide behind such as screen addiction (something I am prone to too). I told him they were not for sale but he could give a Koha for the printing of the book. He invited us to come by his house the following morning and we shook hands. Next day we went and did some mantra meditation on the hill and absorbed the heralding sun. We talked
about how some people wait for the sun to rise s in Oder to be happy whereas a Bhakti yogi has the Krishna sun arisen within their heart. They bring the sun wherever they go and external weather is irrelevant to their inner mood.

We packed our tent and went to his house to follow up on our agreement. He answered the door wearing a robe and looked a bit groggy like we had woken him. It was 8am. He took the book and wished us well. I have camped at this spot the last two weekends with different mates and I plan on camping there again this weekend with another mate. Maybe the ranger will join us for a korero around a fire.

Another powerful lesson I got this past week is how to make spiritual progress through begging for it.
How you beg is you do actions that please Krishna. You don’t do lip service. I beg Krishna a lot with my lips but I
don’t often practice spiritual life. Practice is what makes you better, not begging. So while begging is important, it has o be backed up by action. If you’re stuck in a rut spiritually, look for what part of the practice youre neglecting and then stop neglecting it.

Muchukunda dasa