SOULS ON FIRE #114| How it Started and How it's Going
Family Update
In the year of 2016, I met a wonderful devotee named Isvari at the Bhakti Lounge in Wellington. She was planning a retreat themed around art making, bhakti and self-realisation and had asked me to co-host it with her. It was an awesome experience, and one of the highlights of my art career.
At the time, I was in a marriage that was falling apart, and we officially divorced in 2018. I rode my bike with all my possessions from Wellington to Auckland to start a new chapter in my life. On the 5 day journey, I distributed Prabhupada's books to everyone I met, spreading the teachings of Lord Krsna.
I moved into an ashram in a caravan, where I studied youth development. It was an unexpected spiritual experience for me, and by the end of it, I was a new person. I got a job at a foster home and started a youth project in the devotee community, reaching out to Isvari to see if she wanted to participate. She was drawn to my caring nature and enthusiasm, and we began reading Krsna book together once a week.
On the third week, I shared with my mentor that I was talking with her, but I was also talking to another woman at the same time. My mentor pointed me to a verse in the Bhagavad Gita where Prabhupada says, "Irresponsible men encourage adultery in this world." He asked me to locate myself in those words, and I immediately saw my irresponsibility.
I called both women and said the same thing, wishing them well on their spiritual journey and ending our frivolous online relationships. The first woman was understanding and supportive, admitting she was becoming attached to me.
After my conversation with the first girl, I called Isvari. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I knew I had to be honest with her. I told her that I was talking with another woman and wanted to ask her what the impact of that was on her. To my surprise, she was understanding and not upset.
I told Isvari that I was calling to say goodbye, but then she asked, "So what will we do?" I was taken aback and didn't have an answer immediately. I thought for a moment and realized there were two options: say goodbye or talk about the possibility of a serious relationship. Isvari chose the latter, and we discussed who would move countries.
At first, I suggested that I could move to Canada, but then I realized that I had been a a simp. So, I called her back and told her that I wouldn't be moving. I asked if she still wanted to talk about a relationship, and she thanked me for my honesty. She then surprised me by saying that she would be willing to move to New Zealand.
Due to Covid, Isvari couldn't get on a plane to New Zealand for a whole year, so we planned to meet in India instead. Within two days of making that decision, we had separate homes and jobs arranged.
While in Wellington to get my new passport, I came across an anti-mandate occupation in Parliament Garden. Devotees had set up a temple tent and were performing Harinam Sankirtan all day every day, while also feeding people Krsna prasadam. We slept there for 21 days, doing Nagar Sankirtan every day through the village. My new partner didn't like it because I was preoccupied with the festivities at the protest.
She had also received a call from a concerned devotee who discouraged her from being in a relationship with me. She stopped talking to me, and I concluded that it was over. After the police vacated everyone, I had nowhere to go. I had planned to go to India and had wrapped up everything to leave, but now my partner of one year wasn't talking to me. So, I got on my bike with all my possessions and rode to Whangarei, two hours north of Auckland. I stayed with devotees I met at the protest and eventually started an ashram with new devotees, where we would rise early and chant Hare Krsna together. With the help of a local devotee, I was able to get myself my first vehicle - a hybrid van.
Around this time, I reached out to Isvari's best friend for advice, and she suggested I express my feelings to Isvari. I did, and I also offered to pay for her flight to New Zealand. Within weeks, she arrived, and I booked a bach for us.
After our landlord needed to accommodate their ill mother, my wife and I found ourselves searching for a new place to call home. We eventually found a place that we loved, but it was quite expensive. In order to make ends meet, I decided to look for a new job that paid more.
With my new job came more financial stability, and within a few months, my wife became pregnant. We were overjoyed at the prospect of starting a family, and we eagerly awaited the arrival of our little one.
In January of this year, my partner now carrying our developing child and I had a Vedic marriage ceremony that was truly unforgettable. The day was made even more special by the presence of our dear friends who arrived early to help decorate the marriage arena with banana leaves and flower chains. Their love and support added a unique touch to the ceremony, making it a truly community-driven event. My mentor, who had played a crucial role in guiding me on my spiritual journey, was the priest for our ceremony. He and his partner traveled eight hours by car just to marry us, which was a testament to their dedication to our union.
To make the event even more special, some of the people we had met at Profest came early to help decorate the venue with banana leaves and flower chains. The ceremony itself was powerful and impactful, and many of our guests commented that it was one of the most beautiful and meaningful weddings they had ever attended.
Chandidas, a talented photographer in the vaishnava community captured the event perfectly. The photos came out absolutely stunning, and he even told us that they had given him a great start as a wedding photographer. See the full album here.
While my partner and I had considered ourselves married from the moment she arrived in New Zealand, the Vedic ceremony served as a powerful samskara, or sacrament, that consecrated our union in the presence of our community. It was a beautiful and inspiring experience, and one that we will cherish forever.
Last night, we celebrated Rama Navami, a festival that honors the appearance of Lord Rama. It was a beautiful and spiritual celebration filled with kirtan, a wonderful drama performed by the kids, and an inspiring talk by Atmananda Prabhu on the lessons that can be learned from the story of Ram Lila.
A highlight of the evening was when my wife and I revealed the gender of our child. Just before dinner was served, we popped a balloon filled with pink flower petals, announcing to our community that we were expecting a little girl. The room was filled with excitement and joy for our soon-to-be Vaishnavi baby.
As we embark on this new chapter in our lives, we feel blessed to have such a supportive community of friends and family around us. We know that raising a child will come with its challenges, but we are eager to embrace this new journey with love and devotion, guided by the principles of sanatan dharma.