"I've been interested in authenticity since I attended the Landmark Forum in 2015.
Before that, looking good and avoiding looking bad were the waters I swam in. It was the way I lived without even questioning it. What's amazing about that is I was always preaching 'be yourself' and 'keep it real.' These slogans would feature in a lot of my graffiti and conversations, but I had no idea how far away I was from living up to them.
I'd constantly worry about how others thought about my art, my looks, my manners (or lack thereof), my cooking—anything I did was commented on by my mind, thinking it could sum up the gist of what my 'audience' perceived.
'I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.'
— Charles Horton Cooley
I'm under no illusion that I'm alone with this. It's the human experience to seek approval. We're wired to be admired. Everything we do is a way of saying 'look at me.' Seldom is it enacted from a place of unmotivated love.
What does Vedic literature have to say about authenticity and how to develop it? One verse penetrates through to the soul:
'Pure love for Kṛṣṇa is eternally established in the hearts of the living entities. It is not something to be gained from another source. When the heart is purified by hearing and chanting, this love naturally awakens.'
— Chaitanya Charitamrta
Who we are is not created. Who we are is just who we are. As Krishna said to Arjuna, 'Never was there a time when we did not exist, nor will we cease to be.' So, who we are is an eternal lover of God.
Despite how uncool God is in popular 'culture,' we are all His children, and authenticity means living up to that—being good kids of God, basically.
How to do that is described in the above verse where it says 'hearing and chanting.' Through hearing about Krishna and chanting His names, we become purified of our negative traits, and what's left is the child of God that we forgot we were.
Through this practice, I have become self-aware and able to let go of many negative traits. Every year since I started chanting, I see I've become clearer about my purpose and less interested in material things like looking good and avoiding looking bad.
Imagine a world where we all pursue our purpose of serving God's senses and get our enjoyment from giving rather than exploitation.
Through chanting, this is happening for individuals all over the world.”
Very interesting. I started Krishna Consciousness in 2011. These last years I started to question authenticity in my feelings in my service and with my relationship with people and devotees.
Because I started to see in me some incoherent feelings. For exemple in harinam while everyone was in pure joy I always felt a little bit aside, so I was faking the big joy to be accepted. Or to always feel super exited in Kirtan. And I saw that actually I was faking excitement most of the time. Or also in relationships doing too much so everyone love me especially devotees.
I love and Harinam, and devotees. But now I feel more sober and want to go deeper in Krishna Consciousness and understanding of it. I understood it’s not a shame to feel no pure joy or excitement in service for Krishna. Ad to just have normal feelings in our service is good also.
So last year I decided to start to follow this idea of being true to myself. I saw that actually it changed nothing in my relationship with devotees and people in general. They just worried at first that I was never happy or ok in different services. But after they started to be used to it, because it never change my engagements in my services. And I felt way more myself and satisfied.